Edinburgh. A city of contrasts. The weather is wildly different from one second to the next. Stand on one corner and you’ll find the modern parliament building to your right, the 17th century Holyroodhouse palace to your left and straight ahead, an example of Mothers Natures handy work, the extinct volcano famously known as Arthur’s Seat. Makes sightseeing pretty damn easy when you only have to stand in one spot to see three different centuries of history. Just wow.

Turns out Edinburgh is also the city of every die-hard Harry Potter fan’s (Harry potterians) wildest dreams. Where a regular tourist sees Edinburgh castle, wild areas of scrub, and the Black Friars graveyard, the keen eye of Harry Potterians see Hogwarts, the Forbidden Forest, and the graveyard where Cedric Diggory was killed and Voldemort resurrected. Those Edinburgh market alley ways are clearly Diagon Alley mugglefied. Woah sorry, I think I’ve just caught myself having a major geek out.

Fact though (OK debateable fact but…), There is a Café here called the Elephant House where legend has it, JK Rowling wrote and gave birth to the Harry Potter chronicles. I don’t know about the guys bathroom but in the chicks loo every inch of wall was covered in fan messages. Fans- bring a sharpie if you come here for a coffee (which isn’t bad either BTW. Mind out for quite a wait time though). I had to write my message in ballpoint on a square centimetre of space. It just doesn’t cut it like a thick perm pen would. I tell you what, I’d probably go a bit crazy in Edinburgh. Spending my days running through the rain/hail/gales/sun(?) and re-enacting my life had I received that fateful letter by owl confirming what I knew in my blood… “You’re a witch Mandy”….OK I promise the Harry Potter references stop here.

I was lucky enough to have met an awesome chick in Portugal who recently moved to Edinburgh with her Scottish boyfriend (lucky bitch). They were kind enough to let me commandeer their couch for three nights. Even better was she had just moved to Scotland herself, was a crazy Harry Potter child too and just as excited as me to explore the place. The perfect tourist partnership! I still can not find strong enough words to thank these two for their hospitality, for taking me out, for bloody NOT doing anything unless it was my decision! You made my trip 10 times better then I imagined and I am going to miss your company until my return.

The fact that I came to Edinburgh at the end of the Fringe Festival did indeed add to the effect of my visit. Thousands of free comedy, cabaret, spoken word, street acts and other entertainment. (and just as many to pay for too!) on every street. For performance art lovers It’s like sticking a toddler in a candy store and watching them as they drive themselves wild in a sugar frenzy. SO MANY LOLLIES SO LITTLE TIME *twitch twitch*. Needless to say I had a ball. Two shows stood out and deserve a mention. The first is a show called Snakes. A musical parody of that ridiculous film Samuel L Jackson is renown for ( say it with me now, “I have had it with these Muthafukn snakes on this MUTHAFUKN PLANE” – I think that line actually features too) Anywho, it’s one of those plays with more characters then actors so they each have more then one role to switch between. The whole thing was flawlessly executed! The talent, the musical numbers and the sheer comedy of it all blew me and my friend out of the water. Get this. We actually paid to see this one too! The way it happened was; we walked past this girl who was trying to flyer us for another performance. When we admitted we actually were looking for free shows she replied “Fair.” And then she whispered “but honestly if you are gonna pay for anything go and see Snakes (points to some flyers three doors down). I’ve seen it three times it’s frickin amazing“. What cheek but hey, it must be good if you’ve got other shows flyers promoting your gig over their own. We were sold and it was worth every penny. The male actor was even suffering from some throat lergy yet still performed brilliantly. Even left me fantasizing about an after show meet up actually…

Right the other show was funnily enough, also recommended by the cheeky little flyer promoting all but her own gig ( we did get her name but in the 0.00001% chance that this ever gets read by her boss I better not disclose). This show was called Diane Chawdry (I think). It was a comedy/ musical cabaret anyway. Long story short it ended with the whole wankered audience throwing their shoes off, chairs to the side and having a full on Rave. An unexpected blast. 

Also worth mentioning is the most bitter old comedian iv ever seen. We were 5 of 7 people in the audience. I honest to god think this guy set up his show with the sole intention of ripping into The Fringe, new comedians and contemporary audiences for no longer knowing what real “funny” was anymore. Really, the poor guy just couldn’t handle the changing of the times. We sat through a very confusing, uncomfortable 40 minutes which ended with the two ‘comedians’ hitting themselves over and over on the head with paper plates and yelling. What. The. Fuck. I still can’t decide if I felt more sorry for myself or them. Thank God we stumbled into a hilarious Aussie comedians show not long after. Just goes to show not every thing at The Fringe is wonderful. It probably wouldn’t have been a realistic experience if I didn’t get to see the worst and the best sides ay?

 
Highlights of Edinburgh

> Being met with glorious sunshine followed by a welcoming hail storm all within 10 minutes of my arrival to the city.

>I’m so sorry but…The Harry potteresque scenery. The Castle, the Elephant house, the toilet covered in HP fan messages, the graveyard. Fuel for the Fan fevered imaginations of the Harry Potter generation. Also, I just want to draw a parallel between the famously loyal black friars dog, Bobby and the famously loyal house elf, Dobby! Only just noticed this now. WHAAAAT!

>Clambering up Arthur’s Seat trying to beat the rain. It caught us half way.

>The massive tablet of Dairy free Scottish fudge I bought. Totally convinced it would last me until the end of the month. Gone by the end of my trip. Don’t judge me.

>Being denied into clubs because I had no ID with me. Left my Passport at home, sorry bout it. Considering I’m now 23 I happily thanked each bouncer that denied my presence. I felt like a wee Wain again (Scottish term there folks look it up). 

>Still on the topic of my vanity, while walking around the Edinburgh Castle we walked past a group of men who looked suspiciously like the Italian Mafia. As we approached, the biggest, scariest one looked at me behind his dark Italian shades and said “I like your style”.
So apparently in Edinburgh I not only appear youthful, I have the potential to be a style icon too. It’s a shame there’s no beach or solid promise of sunshine otherwise Edinburgh would have scored a new resident this weekend.

>Guiness. I know, I know. I should have ripped my guiness virginity apart in Ireland. If it makes the situation any better, I LOVE the stuff. From now on if it’s beer and it’s not Guinness then I’m not drinking it.

>The Fringe. Obvious.
 
>The Drinking. A well known secret, the Scotts like to drink. The two common and accepted beverages being; whiskey and IRN BRU (not necessarily together). I tried some Scottish Whisky but not much. The whiskey and I do not mix well. I totally made up for this with an IRB BRU consumption of at least a bottle a day (mostly accompanied by vodka). Ooch aye the bruuuuu.

Edinburgh exceeded my expectations. Unpredictable weather and all! I was so sad to wake up this morning knowing I was leaving. I already have my mind set on returning in the next two years, hopefully to use the city as a base while I travel more of Europe. 

So ends my first Scottish adventure! On that note I should probably answer The dying question on everyone’s lips…

Did you try the Haggis?

No I did not try the Haggis. Plain and simply because…would you? Nah but yeah I did actually talk myself up to it a few times. In the end, it just made more sense for a budget traveller to buy a delicious looking alternative that I would definitely eat. Or a bottle of IRN BRU and a bottle of Vodka. We budget travellers have to be smart with our coin you know. Maybe next time Scotland?